Yelling, screaming and being overly-demanding may work for short periods, but it is not the ultimate answer for leading an organization.

People love cartoonishly evil bosses on TV and in the movies.  Think Darth Vader. Miranda Priestly (The Devil Wears Prada) and Bill Lumbergh (Office Space). And they love actual cartoon villains such as Cruella de Vil (101 Dalmatians) and The Simpsons’ Mr. Burns as well.

These tougher-than-nails leaders personify the management approach summed up by the phase: “My way, or the highway.”

In real life, most people don’t set out to lead this way. They don’t consider Dr. Evil (of the Austin Power films) a role model. It’s just that when loses mount; delays increase; quality slips, competition comes at them from all sides, or simply their level of frustration rises they feel they have no choice.

I know I did.  Or at least I used to.

I am not perfect as a boss, but I am far better than I was and I owe that fact to the most successful entrepreneurs I have worked with over the years.  They have taught me the power of being nice.

Let me give you three reasons why being nice works.

Screaming and yelling only works for short periods.  After that, one of two things happen: Employees—and invariably it is the best employees—who don’t want to be treated that way leave.  And the ones who remain—many of whom you really wouldn’t miss if they left—tune out the noise.

That data bears this out. Invariably every time employees are surveyed about why they stay at—or left—their job, the number one thing they point to is the relationship they have with their boss.

People leave managers, not companies.

The converse is also true. In researching my book about the strategies successful entrepreneur employ, I found this quote from Google’s chief of human resources: “Our best managers have teams that perform better, are retained better, are happier—they do everything better.”

Is it any wonder that Google, one of the most successful companies on the planet, built a variation on the importance of being nice into its founding mission statement?  The statement read in part: “Don’t be evil.”

Second, we are increasingly working in a collaborative world, and no one wants to work either for—or with—a jerk. Social skills, i.e. high E.Q., is more important than ever.

Third, it is incredible difficult for employees to treat their customers well, if they are not being treated well by the company, and customers who are not treated well don’t remain customers for long.  

So instead of screaming and yelling or being a jerk, try to:

  • Coach
  • Care.
  • Communicate clearly
  • Model the behavior you want.
  • Give constructive feedback.
  • Recognize effort and
  • Put people in a position where they can do their best work.

Employees will be happier, and you will be too.


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