You ask the person you want to help you, of course. But how do you decide who to ask?
Everyone—no matter how old they are, or what field they work in—can benefit from having a mentor.
Mentors can save you time—they know what works and what doesn’t—and serve countless functions ranging from coach to networker—putting you in touch with the people you need to know—to supportive listener when things go wrong.
As a rule, people try to be helpful. And so there is no easier way to find a mentor than to ask someone to do it.
But who do you ask? More specifically, what traits do you want them to have? Let me suggest eight you want to look for before you pop the question “will you be my mentor?”
- They have known success. People may be willing to help you, but if they haven’t accomplished much, you need to wonder how much assistance they actually will be able to provide. In other words, you need to know how credible is their advice?
- They have known failure. I am not sure you learn more from failure than you do from success, as the cliché goes, but you learn an awful lot, especially about what not to do next time. If someone is willing to pass that knowledge on to to you, it can be invaluable—especially if they can explain how they turned that failure into a success or used the knowledge they gained when something did not work out to their benefit on a subsequent project.
- They are a good fit. It doesn’t matter how accomplished the potential mentor is, if you are not comfortable with one another, the relationship is not going to work well.
- They are a role model. They are someone you want to emulate. They are honest, respected, respectful and empathetic, for starters.
- They show a willingness to share skills, knowledge, and expertise. This is where people usually start when they are looking for a mentor, they search for someone who is open to helping them.
- They provide guidance and constructive feedback. This is central part of the mentoring relationship. They need to point out your mistakes—hopefully before you make them. If they don’t do this, they are limiting their potential effectiveness. And if you don’t welcome their honest feedback, even when painful to hear, you will be negating a major benefit of having a great mentor.
- They care about you. This has two parts. First, you want them to care about you as a person. (After all, you are more than what you do for a living.) Second, you want them to be invested (emotionally) in your being successful. (They need not be a source of funding for your new venture.)
- They challenge you. They encourage you, in a phrase, to think bigger.
There is no guarantee that a mentor will make you successful.
But if you choose wisely, it certainly increases your odds.
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